Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
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