I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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