Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
We had sex on a dog bed..
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
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