dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
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Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
I feel like death gave me a hand job
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
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You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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