whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
if i can run in heels then i can drive
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
I love you.
Bad choice
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