woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
I enjoy the company of your penis
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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