So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
They took my balls.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
Randomize