This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
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