OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
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stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
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A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
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