Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
