You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
Randomize
