ADVERTISEMENT

• (864): View more from South Carolina

  I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction

  Fav 71 5797 1255

  share tweet
  

• (712): View more from Iowa

  I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.

  Fav 4 4975 791

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (207): View more from Maine

  She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.

  Fav 20 8096 2414

  share tweet
  

• (817): View more from Texas

  Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.

  Fav 4 1206 2606

  share tweet
  
• 

  If You’re Hot, It’s Easier For You To Do These 27 Things

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (619): View more from California

  My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.

  Fav 21 15166 1717

  share tweet
  

• (863): View more from Florida

  oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.

  Fav 14 1575 3291

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (304): View more from West Virginia

  Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?

  Fav 13 4558 1339

  share tweet
  

• (419): View more from Ohio

  He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.

  Fav 7 1708 864

  share tweet
  

• (347): View more from New York

  When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards

  Fav 10 1688 985

  share tweet
  
• 

  23 Struggles Kids These Days Will Never Know

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (219): View more from Indiana

  i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver

  Fav 2 1227 670

  share tweet
  

• (616): View more from Michigan

  Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.

  (402): View more from Nebraska

  20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun

  Fav 2 1053 790

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (614): View more from Ohio

  Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?

  Fav 11 1182 723

  share tweet
  

• (587): View more from Alberta

  I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.

  Fav 6 897 715

  share tweet
  

• (303): View more from Colorado

  So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.

  Fav 2 231 479

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (251): View more from Alabama

  He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.

  (1-251): View more from Alabama

  you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?

  (251): View more from Alabama

  Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.

  Fav 1 553 145

  share tweet
  

Randomize