Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
The Internet Is Obsessed With This Stripper Who Dropped It Low Just To Eat A Slice Of Pizza
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
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