Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
