Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
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