Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
