I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
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