Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
I currently don't understand fingers.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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