I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize
