alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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