I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
he just fucked me for my cheese..
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
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