Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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