He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
