Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
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I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
Bang-toberfest begins!!
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
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they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
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