wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
