I wish I could punch you in the face.
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
