I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
Randomize
