I must be too annoying 4 u.
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
