I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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