Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
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