The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Randomize