I faked an abortion last night.
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
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