White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
Green mimosas i think yes
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
I didn't notice because vodka
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
Randomize
