I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
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