We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
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