C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
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