so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
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Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
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Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
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