WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Randomize
