I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize
