I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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