So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
