Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
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