I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
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