so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Randomize
