Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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