I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
That's how pantless uber rides happen
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
