atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
i drank out of a bidet.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
Randomize