eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
Randomize
