I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
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Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
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