Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
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