Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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