yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Randomize
