woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Randomize
