ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
