I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
It's never too late to be topless.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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