so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
Randomize
