For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
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So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
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