I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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