My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
I wish I could teleport
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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