"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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