I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
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