i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
Randomize
